So…Here goes. How funny is itthat sitting down to write a blog post has caused so many butterflies in my stomach? I mean, it isn’t like it has been 18 years since I’ve written anything for a grade, right? Yet, when I finally sat down to write this post, the realization that I am just supposed to write about myself sinks in.
Myself—to detail who I am, to reflect on how I processed some amazingly inspiring video presentations, and to project what I can be if I focus on areas that need coaching. This whole assignment is designed to make me better. Now that I have come to that understanding, this doesn’t seem so butterfly-worthy after all.
I am a nurse. This has defined me for nearly half of my life. I am incredibly proud of that. I have often reflected on who I am and where I want to go, but never really “why”. I have always been someone who loves justice—open-minded justice. I want everyone to know where they stand with me, but I want them to laugh with me as well. My father instilled that trait in me. He was a military man, and if you have ever met a military person, you know what I mean. Only he had one additional quality: he used his personality to make people smile, to let them know that he was trustworthy and honorable. That clever personality sealed the deal. You could see his hard work and amazing work ethic, but when he made you laugh, you could relax and breathe. I believe that is what made his leadership abilities so successful. I think they are what make my qualities uniquely special as well.
I love my family, spending time with my friends and neighbors (I live on the most fun street in town by the way, so don’t be jealous), running, reading a good book, and because I am a nerd…I also love podcasts. I may not be living the life I envisioned, but really who does? I mean, if that were true, I would be married to Joe Mcintyre and jetting all over Europe as a fashion icon. Instead, I live and equally amazing life. I get to be Colby Miller’s wife, a mother to four wonderfully individual kids, a loyal friend, and an easy-going, goal-oriented leader for my team at Children’s Mercy.
It could have been different though, I wasn’t always on this course. About 10 years ago, I decided that I needed to change something about myself, though I didn’t know what. I was in a rut in life. I reflected on my life and how it shaped me. I began to notice that it was the choices that I made that shaped my life, my responses. I used this insight and I started telling myself what is now my motto “You can’t change your circumstance…only your response to it”. This self-talk has shaped much more than who I am, it has changed the way I look at nursing. I have always thought of myself as an advocate, one who fights for what my patients and their families need, or what I think the policy should be. As I have grown in myself, I have noted that I can be a much better advocate, for all that I want to advocate for, as a leader.
Fast forward a bit and here I am. I am currently a nurse manager at Children’s Mercy Hospital. I have worked here nearly 22 years, how lucky am I? I am new to any official leadership position, but I enjoy it. I get to put all of my qualities to work. I am certain that this is the best use of my passion to help people better who they are, and in turn they are able to better care for our patients and their families.
This week, as I watched the assigned presentations, it became clear how important living my “why” is. Simon Sinek (2010) spoke about the differences in companies’ success as a result of where their message came from, as opposed to what the message asked of us. I had never given much thought before now on this topic, but it makes perfect sense. Being able to communicate our raison d’être in a way that resonates, makes people feel they can trust. It is in this same vein that as nurses we hear it said “Peoplewon'tcarehow muchyou knowuntil theyknowhow muchyou care.”
I have long admired Steve Jobs for various reasons. His “why” was so large that it literally moved our world into the technology age that we are in now. That is one powerful “why”. In the video from Steve Jobs (2005), he spoke about connecting the dots. These dots aren’t just retrospective, but also foreshadow the direction we will go. In my job, I have unknowingly been relying on the dots to take our clinic to the desired future state. I feel like sometimes we hit a level and those dots are clear, and all the work we have done makes sense. In hearing this speech, I have learned to trust the dots to take me where I am going.
In the Michael Jr. video (2015) the audience member was a great example of how purposeful our “what” can be when we apply our “why” to it. When that gentleman sang the first time, it was very good. When he was given direction to sing based on emotion, he knocked it out of the park! In my own life, I can tell how much impact my “why” has had just based on the ease of implementation of new practices. When I can help them relax and breathe, I know they trust the process.
Porter-O’Grady (2016) is passionate about nursing. He is also passionate about the fact that nursing has to change.He spoke of how most of our nurses are of the age to be Technological Immigrants and this means we need to change how we use technology in healthcare before the technological natives catch up to us. I have long had this same thought, we have to stop living in the “This is how we have always done it” world and start living in the “Let’s just give this a quick try” world instead. Not to mention, we also need to start doing this in a relevant timeline, in order to see the most optimal benefits.
In “what is Leadership” (2014), we see an example of how much better people do when they aren’t being micro-managed. In nursing, we weren’t taught to delegate and trust, we were told to delegate, re-evaluate, and then re-evaluate our re-evaluation. It isn’t always the most productive of actions. David Marquet was able to grow his men to be the best versions of themselves as long as all the conditions are right. The end result was leading and not managing.
As I reviewed the Nursing Administration Scope and Standards of Practice (2016) I felt like my area of neededgrowth lies in those areas that make me nervous. I want to grow in my ability to “Recognize conflict as inherent and valuable in effective collaboration” (p.50). I also need to be better at “Provide(ing) support and resources to facilitate the nursing care given by others while retaining accountability for the quality of care an effectiveness of teams.” (p.51). I tend to feel the obligation to do more instead of delegating more, ironically this can backfire.
Nursing Leadership is the path that I know I am meant to be on. This means I need to always keep growing. I want to get better at leading my staff. I hope that knowing my “why” and using it from the standpoint of The Golden Circle, connecting the dots and singing my song with purpose can help me move forward to be an even better leader, and my team to an even better place.
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